Kinda a dating rant

Why can’t dating still be like the old days. Invite me to a diner share a burger and a shake with me. Go to a carnival and laugh the whole night on rides. Where guys actually showed interest in you with flowers and sweet gestures. He asked you on dates and wanted to get to know you for you and not your body. Nowadays guys just get straight to the point with cheesy pick up lines to get you in bed. Hey their isn’t anything wrong with that everyone now and then needs/wants a hookup. I think whats even worse than being hit on for sleep is when you have plans with someone to actually get together because you both share the same interest for each other but then the day comes around and you don’t even hear from them. I’m sorry but we’re all grown and I hope mature adults to be able to tell each other “Hey, I’m sorry but I won’t actually be able to hang out today” or “Hey, I’m sorry I don’t think this is going to work” lalalala. We all get the point. Who the hell comes of with the shit about ghosting, zombie, and haunting. I don’t think ladies or gents deserved to be ghosted, zombied, or haunted. Stop being selfish and take the other persons feelings into consideration. I know I’m one that certainly hates telling guys after a few dates I don’t want to see them again but its a shit ton better than not having them to have anything to go off of. If anything you’re helping each other grow off one another. I’m a simple girl who doesn’t like her time and effort being wasted.

Esthetician

I don’t know if its just me but its incredibly hard to build a clientele for yourself. About two years I went to school for esthetics hoping it would make me more money than working retail. HA! Jokes on me I’m still making the same money sometimes less plus I’m not even making vacation pay working full-time. Talk about screwed. I wonder if its the placement in my salon/spa in a mediocre town of East Greenbush known but not known. Maybe its I’m not trying hard enough to get myself out there. Do I post more on social media or hand out business cards more? All I know is if I were to give advice on going to school for esthetics is if you’re comfortable making no more than $20,000 a year this job its totes for you. It sucks when you’re trying to be passionate about something you love but it doesn’t even give you enough to survive. Who knows I could be doing something wrong, feel free to give me tips 🙂

bff breakup

She was my best friend. She helped evolve me into the person that I am today. She showed me a view of the world I’d never seen before. She also broke my heart. I would have preferred a stupid boy to break my heart. She was someone I depended on for happiness, a shoulder to lean on, someone to show me a good time even when I was feeling dark. She was sunshine and the sun hasn’t shined the same since. I never met someone who has ever felt like my other half until I met my twin. I can say so many good things, but we’re both so selfish and to me you won the prize. I was there for you when no one else was through hardship. I literally dropped everything to be your other half, your shoulder to lean on, your good time when all you felt was dark, and your sunshine. Thats where I messed up because you wouldn’t give me the same. I tried not to expect much from you but I did expect you to show me respect. At least respect my wishes. Maybe I’m upset over something stupid, but to me its more than that and I hope someday  you realize that. At the end of the day I’m always thankful I met you and you were a huge part of my life. Thank you for all the memories xo.

The best friend..

Where does one even begin to explain how they fell for their ex boyfriends best friend? I think when shit like that happens to people its out of their hands. You can’t help the odds of that happening. If I could explain it, it probably started with how they understood me better than my boyfriend had. How they would do anything to make me feel comfortable in a room full of people. When they sincerely cared about my feelings and did anything to get to know me. Who made me comfortable in my own skin without being bare. Did anything they could do to hold a conversation with me and even hold it better than anyone else could. Or was it the idea of excitement of doing something wrong? Well, it might be wrong but I haven’t felt something so right in years. Its a shame to know I’ll never know what its like to be loved by you.